You know how I often say there is no one true way to write or revise?
There is only one true way that all writers write and/or revise. I have checked with hundreds of other writers and they all have the same process and it works every time. You ready? Here goes:
1. Open document (either in hard-copy or electronically.)
2. Open web browser (on computer or phone.)
3. Go to Facebook.
4. Feel guilt. Return to document. Scroll down a bit (or page through.) Change an m-dash to a semi-colon. Feel better. Progress!
5. See what that notification is on Facebook. Oh! Jason* has a birthday.
6. Type “Happy Birthday Jason!” in the box.
7. Return to the manuscript. Search for “eyes.” See 694 returns. Grit your teeth and make your way through 38 instances.
8. Open Twitter. Type something pithy about cutting eyes, maybe make a reference to Oedipus.
9. See an interesting looking link about how to edit and revise your MS. Retweet it.
10. Get coffee.
11. Note time on microwave. Didn’t you start trying to revise two hours ago?
12. GET FED UP WITH SELF.
13. Start revising in earnest.
There you go. You’re welcome. Feel free to print this out and stick it to the bulletin board above your writing desk. (Bonus secret tip: I highlighted #13.)
*If you don’t know a Jason, I don’t know what to do for you. You should probably just type “Happy Birthday Jason!” to someone at random and then get on to step 7.